You unlock this door with a key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into The Informer Zone
Lets start the rankings!!
20. Danielle Scott (Down 10. Biggest drop)
Gain: Being a jobber on the card that involves every big star on the roster
Loss: Being a jobber on the card that involves every big star on the roster
Comment: I don’t know what all there is to say. I had every intention of striking her from my record books and never being fooled into mentioning her irrelevant branded ass again. But Preacher in is mysterious and often misguided ways say fit to add her in a beat the coc..clock challenge (whatever the hell that is) one of two on the card and the least interesting and entertaining of the two. Thank god this match opens the show. gives people time to deal with traffic and the food vendors!
19. Alex Calaway (Down 8)
Gain: Being a jobber on the card that involves every big star on the roster
Loss: Being a jobber on the card that involves every big star on the roster
Comment: I don’t know what all there is to say. I had every intention of striking her from my record books and never being fooled into mentioning her irrelevant branded ass again. But Preacher in is mysterious and often misguided ways say fit to add her in a beat the coc..clock challenge (whatever the hell that is) the second of two on the card and the most interesting and entertaining of the two (though that aint saying much) Thank god this match might be saved by the often flawless ring rookie and rising star Gail Bentley!
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See that, do u see what i did there….
SEE HOW ALL THAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THOSE TWO IS BARELY DIFFERENT ONE FROM THE NEXT?
SEE HOW IF U WERE ASKED U PROLLY COULDN’T TELL THEM APART BASED ON IMPORTANCE TO ANYTHING CURRENTLY GOING ON IN XWF?
THATS THE PROBLEM WITH THE ROSTER. EVEN IF XWF HAS A THREE MATCH CARD…AT LEAST THE MATCHES CONTAIN PEOPLE WE HAVE REASON TO CARE ABOUT, ROOT FOR OR ROOT AGAINST ETC! WHY DOES THE XWF SEE IT AS A WISE MOVE TO MAKE POINTLESS GO NOWHERE MATCHES WITH JOBBERS JUST TO LENGTH THE SHOW? WHO’S GOT PREACHER, STEPH AND KEV AND EVERETT BY THE BALLS TO THE POINT THEY AGREE TO THIS LUNACY! WHO’S PRECIOUS EGO (OR LACK THERE OF) ARE THEY TRYING TO PROTECT!!
Or maybe its just me
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18. Annalisa Stratus (No Change)
Gain: Former Woman’s Champ trying to regain relevancy over the decaying women s division
Loss: A loss against Alex will no doubt stop any rematch title plans for the upcoming PPV
Comment: Gain and Loss pretty much cover all that needs said about this one. shes welcome she made the list!
17. Mindy Meadows (Down 8)
Gain: The Brains behind the current power of XWF
Loss: The brawn to back up her brains isn’t listening very well
Comment: Mindy will always be the wise woman of XWF. she doesn’t have Ashley’s fan appeal, Nikki’s spine, Mad Cow’s GED or Angel’s Special Effects budget but she has a brain and she uses that to make the type of moves in this business no one else would have the brain or balls to make. yeah i said so what wanna fight about it?
16. Nikki Blade (Down 4)
Gain: Shes a mother
Loss: Everett’s the father
Comment: I can not wait to see the grand canyon difference in Nikki from the wise ass Everett kool-aid drinker we used to know to the wise ass momma bear shes no doubt about to show herself to be!
15. Mike Dimter (Down 1)
Gain: based solely on his time at XWF he gains respect whether he is off the card or on it.
Loss: I cover this in comment.
Comment: Question: When is the last time as an XWF fan you truly believed in Dimter. He once had a fighting spirit. he once made u see the underdog he was destined to be. the man has wins over former champions past and present and yet he cant beat his way out a wet paper bag nowadays. I believe hes being pulled it to too many directions. his destiny and personality split too many different ways. focus up dimter before your whole career is Dimter’d
14. Sid Vicious (Down 1)
Gain: He used to at least be worth mentioning due to that paperweight championship he disrespected
Loss: He got his ass kicked by Victoria scott
Comment: Lets look at sid these past few weeks. Loses to the world champion. keeps his united states title. loses his united states title gets a shot at the Evol title contender-ship. Im sorry but what the F^&K ARE THE WRITERS IN THAT PLACE SMOKING!?!?!….and where can i get some…
13. Victoria scott (Up 6)
*XWF United State Champion*
Gain: She gets that pretty graphic beneath her name
Loss: shes about to be taken as serious as United States Champion as Star Trek is taken as a documentary.
Comment: She better hope wish and pray that the lord herself strikes down The Clown and gives the other more bladier Josh a shot at her title.
12. Josh Blade (Up 7 from last posted)
Gain: Hes back in the fight for something that matters and i expect he will come with all he has.
Loss: All he has may not be enough for someone who just defeated and MVP and an STD
Comment: I will not berate Josh. I will not boast about josh (Brandon Young taught me to be careful) I will say that its nice to see the third Blade on our roster start making some serious career moves. Josh, its not about winning, though a title shot would be nice. Give Graves a run. Make him earn the win. watch your matches and career jet upward. its really that simple!
11. Gail Bentley (Down 4)
*XWF Diva Champion*
Gain: The win in her match this week should, at least on paper, be in the bag
Loss: losing however brings the entire strength of her reign into question
Comment: She gets to silence possibly her biggest threat in the division not named Blade and before a PPV, in a non title. Lucky bird!
10. Jackson Bryant (Up 5)
Gain: He gets to go back to the little obedient Union lapdog he always was.
Loss: Of course this is after being completely neutered by Ashley Blade!
Comment: The real world has Sons of Anarchy. TNA had Aces & Eights. XWF Has this blonde chimp turned chump who is about as scary as a witch with bugle nails!
9. Angel (Up 7)
Gain: She actually did something right last week.
Loss: The continued drain she puts on the budget means i may never get my vespa!
Comment: I wont bash David this week, she came out, shut preacher up and did exactly what she was meant to do. win an easy match. Anarchy is to Angel what Undertaker was to Wrestlemania (Pre-Lesnar) So with Anarchy fast approaching i can only hope David stops picking on these minnows and goes after a real fish!
8. Sheena Montgomery (Up 9. Biggest Gain)
Gain: She Gave most encouaraging and entertaining try at Inferno.
Gain: She Gave most encouraging and entertaining try at Inferno. ual to wrestling royalty……couldn’t save her from herself.
Comment: Look, Madcow is easy money. Shes a fat ass target with as many flaws as she has had romantic animal partners. BUT! She fought one helluva match against odds no one really thought she had a damn chance beating. I called Slaine carrying her to a win or her being the reason they lost. She may of been the one that got pinned but she gave as much effort as she possible could. not even i can question that. as far as return matches go that was top ten all time regardless of company. I still cant stand her. and i hope Farrell moves her to a 0-2 return so she can stop thinking shes the same as the returning clown (who is 2-0 since his return) But what i can not and will not do is lay down so bs reasoning behind giving her a tongue lashing for last inferno. A. because if i got my tongue anywhere near her id have to cut the whole thing off unless my vaccinations were up to date and B. She damn near did the damn thing and would of done it had Clown and Cop not been so damn better than her…at least that night!
7. Ashley Blade (Down 3)
Gain: I will honor her enough to give her back her name.
Loss: Doesnt sound nearly as cool as the other names i gave her or the name she really wants again.
Comment: I want Ashley Blade to remain in the Union. I do. Why? Because when shes with those EC3 wanna be’s, those future wife beaters of american spokesman, those turd salads passing themselves off as human beings, when she is with them i do not have to care about ashley. i dont have to root for, concern myself with or about Ashley. I can and have effectively “Nothing’d” ashley. not hate not love not sympathized with. ive nothing’d her. Ashley Blade outside the union is a fan favorite, emotionally driven, neurotic mess! Though Daniel Slaine has balanced her out considerable she remains someone who is dumb enough to not be able to realize how smart she is. Through out all the crap she gets about the chaos and instability that was and is Clan Graves, ask yourself why she keeps referring to them as family, saying thats where she thought and may still think she belongs. its because shes crazy, shes chaos. shes a few fries short of a milkshake and a few screws short of a Christmas tree. House Graves balanced that out. made it seem common place. You take Ashley outside the protection of the union. Place her on her own with no Slaine, Everett or Clown to stand by her side, and u may get the former World champion, You may get the 2nd ever XWF Triple Crown Champion, or you may get a scared blonde lady who cries more than any lifetime movie ever…its a toss up. Stay with the union Ashley. Your fans cant risk another let down.
6. Brandon Young (Up 2)
Gain: Evol title match oppurtunity is far less than he deserves.
Loss: His effort in the ring and in promos is about as bipolar as one can be without being a blade, a Graves or dimter.
Comment: I was soo high on this guys smoke a few weeks back. Then he shit the bed against Graves. So, naturally i beat him to a verbal puddle last week and he smashed the holy hell out his promo against Sid and seemed by all accounts to eb back in fighting form, only to lose to…..a locker room door?!?!? In any event hes got a chance to finally decide what he wants to be: A possible Evol title contender/Champion or the next….well you know who.
5.Josh Graves (Up 1)
Gain: 2-0 since returning and that last win made it impossible for people to take him lightly now.
Loss: He beat Mad Cow and get at least a recorded win over Daniel Slaine (Tag match though it may be) and everyone now sees you.
Comment: Granted this is Josh Graves former XWF Triple Crown, US, USX, Xtreme and World Champion so i doubt anyone was smart enough to turn a blind eye or discount him when he returned but now its official. dont sleep on the clown. (thats on the clown. different from when Mad cow would be told not to sleep with the rodeo clowns) Josh now faces his ex but not really ex Ashley’s brother Josh for a shot at Victoria luckiest damn break ever! Not even the biggest gambler or XWF Historian can see a possible way Graves will lose at Inferno but stranger things have happened (Locker room doors attacked, Jobbers get gifted titles, Jackson Bryant gets air time, Sheena front pages Wrestlingxwf.com) So i stand confident in saying no matter what Josh is victorious at Inferno, that Josh will be our United States Champion come the PPV and will have serious work to do just to bleach the stain Victoria, Sid put on it.
4.Michael Everett (Down 1)
Gain: Finally back in action after what was most certainly too long away!
Loss: As much as i can admit i missed the mans wrestling ability and in-ring showmanship. i DID NOT! Miss his egotistical promos.
Comment: How much does The Preacher hate or fear you win he puts u against himself and The MVP of XWF Daniel Slaine in a handicap murder match. Everett has beaten them all and any odds against him might want to remember exactly it is who it is THEY are against but even this seems a bit too much for The Ego.
3.The Preacher (Down 1)
Win, Loss and Comment: Thessalonians 1:6
2. Daniel Slaine (Down 1)
*XWF World Heavyweight Champion*
Gain: Lost at Inferno but was never pinned. Only the MVP can manage that and have it look so good!
Loss: Must choose between his distrust and building hatred for the former holder of his current crown or if he would rather abandon him to The Ego who may very well be the newest and biggest overal threat to his crown.
Comment: There is a reason House Stark was at its best when left alone, House Slaine would do well to remember that!
1. Max Farrell (Up 4)
*XWF Evolution Champion*
Gain: The XWF Buddy cop movie waiting to happen was successful against the MVP STD Connection.
Loss: Now against a lesser threat but a threat none-the-less
Comment: Farrell must continue his winning ways to show that the Slaine/Everett/Preacher dance for the title is missing a fatal fourth dance partner!
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An Informed Opinion: The Lifetime Movie Moment of XWF: Ashley Blade.
The Informer: Now instead of my normal spotlight, i instead decided to let Ashley direct her own little moments. Now what you are about to hear is Ashley about Ashley and Ashley’s world in her own words. After that i will do my take any what i deem important of her little made for tv movie. here we go.
The Camera spins off of the Informer and on to a big screen tv where Ashley Blade is seen sitting in a chair.
Ashley: You’re prolly thirsty for ratings so you’ll ask me about Josh and how i feel. right? how do you think I feel? I mean here’s a man that I’ve been married to for years have a child with and he just up and leaves and now returns!?!? listen this isn’t dr. Phil or Maury Povich I’m here to talk about wrestling and wrestling only. if you want me to sit here and talk about Josh Graves what’s the point he hasn’t talked to me.
Ashley: Next you will probably comment about i was the poster girl for being the good girl of the xwf and how u now find me “in bed” with a longtime enemy, Michael Everett and make some snide comment about how im turning my back on the fans or my history or something and to that i say just look at last year. look at the summertime. look at before Anarchy what was going on and then to top it off I had my friend Max Farrell blatantly attacked me from behind with a chair and no one came to my defense. so yeah I guess I was pretty pissed off and wanted to give up the ring everything and my best friend Daniel Slaine along with Michael Everett showed me that the union wasn’t as bad as everybody pointed out. They were not as bad as Josh had be agreeing they were. they were the ones that had my back and they were the ones that got me back in that ring so why not show my loyalty to the union and especially to Michael Everett. nobody seemed to care how their actions affected me. nobody cared how well Ashley blade was doing until she joined the union and nobody and I mean nobody stood by me when I needed it the most and I’m not saying I can’t do things on my own because trust me this past year I’ve proven that I can handle myself so the union has no bearing on any of my decisions and Michael knows this. Michael knows he can’t push me to do anything that I don’t want to do
Ashley: You’re going to want to know about my victory over Jackson who is also in The Union and how my closeness with Jackson has stopped since Josh’s return. Jackson and I have nothing to do with Josh’s returned and that’s all I’m going to say about that and as far as what happened in the ring with Jackson. I did what I was paid to do. I did what the fans wanted to see and what they paid to see. me unlike others do my job. I’m not addictive like preacher and Meadows who take their role as the leader of a company even as temporary as it is to manipulate people and to force people to do things that they don’t want to do. that is wrong and that is going to end once Michael is back in charge. so again me and Jackson have no bearing on anything now that the match is concluded. I am still Main Event material If u disagree with that you’re damn dumb and blind. What I’ve done and continue to do for this company is beyond compare. I will show you and every doubter out there that I still have what it takes to be in any and all XWF Main Events and when I do it will finally shut you up so with that being said Goodbye!
The camera spins off of Ashley’s message and back The Informer. who is asleep. he gets a nudge from someone off camera.
The Informer:huh…oh…shes done…finally…AWARD TIME!!
MATCH OF THE WEEK: STD/MVP vs. Clown/Cop. The promos alone proved that these four are without a doubt well respected among their peers and each other. no one analyzes like Graves, Story-tells like Max, gives facts like Slaine or mumbles like Mad cow. they made Inferno like it used to be. very close to the days of greatness that had Ethan Jones, John Mitchell, Shane Trudex, Taylor Matthews etc. They made it old and new and historic and modern. they kicked ass. Even Sheena.
Runner up: Ashley vs. Jackson
OMG MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Madcow actually winning a match and BY being beaten by a door
Runner up: The look on Everetts face after talking to Preacher.
BIGGEST SURPRISE: Josh Blade making waves with his set up match against Graves
Runner up: Sheena actually not being carried by Slaine as much as i predicted.
ASS OF THE WEEK: Sid Vicious. You were talking alot of shit like beating BY was just a set point of history already and then u couldn’t last 4 minutes against that streetwalker Jobber?!?!
Runner up: BY’s Locker room door.
UNFORTUNATE PERSON OF THE WEEK: Michael Everett?? believe me that was hard for even me to say.
Runner Up: Alex Calloway
The Madcow Botch of the week: Once again the match makers at XWF for making Alex Calaway, Annalisa Stratus and Danielle scott think they actually matter!
Runner up: Mad Cow
THE MOUSE AWARD: Josh Blade (second award this week) silent as a mouse then boom title shot opportunity!
THE WHERES WALLY AWARD:This award goes to everyone that either decides shoot a promo at the last minute and/or cant be bothered to make it last longer than 4 minutes. the generic promos. the “im gonna beat you u big ass you” promos. the promos that take about as long to watch and forget as most bowel movements (That cant be a coincidence) Just because your probably facing someone you know you cant beat, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put in the effort! you work here, SO WORK!
See ya nex week time same I place same I channel!